Thursday, April 15, 2010

THE WEIRDO (1989)

Well, this movie definitely lives up to it's title. It's weird as shit!!! Imagine if Forrest Gump and that retard from SLING BLADE were brothers, but they had a third, more retarded brother. His name would be Donnie and this is his story...

Donnie is dumb as a bag of retarded hamsters and he lives with a nice old lady who takes care of him. He spends a lot of time walking around in the woods collecting crap. There's also a gang of local tough guy's who beat him up every once and a while. One day while out wandering around a creek a teenage girl wearing leg braces comes up to him and just starts talking. Her name is Jenny (just like Gump's girlfriend) and soon they are inseparable. Nothing really happens for a long time, just your standard soap opera stuff (retarded philosophy, clumsy sexual fumblings, priest copping a feel of Jenny, etc.), but yet I couldn't stop watching. The entire time I felt there was something sinister lurking just below the surface...and I was right! During the third act the movie goes from zero to Fucking Insane in the blink of an eye and it just gets wilder and wilder until finally at the end it blows it's retarded load all over the place!

One afternoon Donnie is forced to go visit his bitch of a mom and she tries to sell him to some creepy guy so Donnie goes bonkers and beats the crap out of her then chops her head off and stabs the dude through the neck with a rake. After that he goes on a rampage and kills pretty much everybody in the movie! Even the people that were nice to him. It was awesome! I was laughing so hard my sides hurt. Especially his final act with his girlfriend. I literally yelled "Holy fuck!!!" so loud my neighbors probably heard me.

I'm not saying you should watch this movie, because it is a piece of shit, but I actually enjoyed it and would love to watch it in a crowded theater full of bad movie junkies.

If you are looking for a THE WEIRDO drinking game: take a shot every time somebody gets slapped. This movie is slap happy.