SORORITY ROW (2009)

A group of six annoying sorority sisters pull an insanely stupid prank that unsurprisingly ends up killing somebody. The sisters hide the body and go on with their lives. A few months later, a mysterious killer (wearing a gratuation outfit of all things) shows up and starts killing people with a "pimped out" tire iron. Good grief. There's around 10 killings and they're all pretty average.

Overall, SORORITY ROW is not a good film, but it's just so dumb and cheesy that it's impossible not to giggle at it. Over the years I've watched this film like 5 times (if not more) and I always seem to enjoy it. It's just so dumb and innocent. A fun look back to cheesy 00's-era slashers.

A few super brief nude scenes.

Original - The House of Sorority Row (1983)

DR. NO (1962)

Super spy and cocksmith James Bond goes to Jamaica to investigate the disappearance of a fellow spy. Once there it's a pretty low-key and straightforward investigation. He follows the former spy's footsteps and that leads him to some stuff about radioactive rocks or something, I don't know, but it ends up there's this butthole called Dr. No who has a secret lair on a nearby island and he's sending out evil radio waves to crash American space rockets. Bond has a few minor scrapes including a fake driver, three "blind" assassins, a poisonous spider in his bed and a woman who keeps taking his picture, but the main adventure doesn't start until an hour into the film when he finally gets on No's island which is guarded by a fire-breathing "dragon".

I was shocked at how low-budget and cheap the whole movie looked and the story was just barely enough to keep me interested. Also, Bond didn't have any gadgets! I thought he was suppose to have all kinds of wacky weapons and toys? I guess that doesn't happen until later on in the series? Speaking of series, this is the first movie and Bond is already a seasoned agent and there's really very little back story. As far as villains go, Dr. No was pretty weak, yeah, he had super strong hands but he never does anything with them! Yawn. His island lair did look cool and I would imagine it was one of the inspirations for the lair in THE INCREDIBLES. That leaves us with the women Bond screws: the girl at he beginning had eyebrows that scared me; the evil girl was weird looking and the girl he randomly meets on the island was alright, but nothing special. Overall, a disappointing bunch.

If, like me, you're going to go through the entire series beginning to end then you have to watch the movie, but other than that I'd skip it.  It is only mildly entertaining at best.

Two and a half Thunderballs out of five.

Part 2 - From Russia With Love (1963)
Part 3 - Goldfinger (1964)
Part 4 - Thunderball (1965)
Part 5 - You Only Live Twice (1967)
Part 6 - On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
Part 7 - Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
Part 8 - Live and Let Die (1973)
Part 9 - The Man with the Golden Gun (1974)
Part 10 - The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
Part 11 - Moonraker (1979)
Part 12 - For Your Eyes Only (1981)
Part 13 - Octopussy (1983)
Part 14 - A View to a Kill (1985)
Part 15 - The Living Daylights (1987)
Part 16 - Licence to Kill (1989)
Part 17 - GoldenEye (1995)
Part 18 - Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Part 19 - The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Part 20 - Die Another Day (2002)
Part 21 - Casino Royale (2006)
Part 22 - Quantum of Solace (2008)
Part 23 - Skyfall (2012)
Part 24 - Spectre (2015)
Part 25 - No Time to Die (2021)

Non-Eon James Bond films:
Casino Royale (1967)
Never Say Never (1983)